When it is hard…
I work with bodies.
I look. I listen. I learn.
Bodies speak.
Before the human occupying the physical body even utters a word, the body is speaking.
There is a spectrum of stress, anxiety and trauma.
There are spaces that I have personally inhabited. Journeys with my physical body, mind and being that I have walked, lessons of inhabiting a physical space that I have had to fight to obtain. Daily, I have the privilege of watching courage manifest. It is courageous to show up, let your being take a deeper breath, acknowledge sensation and felt emotion and be present to that moment. I know that journey. It is courageous to make a choice to choose presence amidst living with a nervous system that wants to step into fight, flight, freeze, faint or faun. It is courageous to take a longer breath. It is courageous to say, “I will try.”
Along the spectrum of stress, anxiety and trauma walks every human being, regardless of station in life.
I have witnessed young children, I have sat with the aged and elderly. The reality is that with every human being inhabiting a body, living with a nervous system and making their way through life there is going to be stress, anxiety and trauma. Learning how to inhabit a body, breath, and a nervous system within daily life while being awake and present to the moment takes time, practice and determination. Distraction and push through seems so much easier than taking a pause, allotting for space, FEELING and being present. Having spent a huge portion of my life in spaces of distraction to disassociation, I get that. What I have learned though? Is that presence, the act and art of living, breathing, being awake and aware, while at times brutally hard and painful, creates a life worth living.
What else I’ve learned?
It takes time…
It is hard work.
Pausing to take a longer breath is harder than reaching for the remote, pausing to get up and breathe and move is harder than dulling out. I tell clients at times to reach for the remote. I tell people I work with to allow for moments of dulling out. The reality of the work of waking up, healing and growing is liken to the spaces when a part of your body has fallen asleep and now there are pins and needles needling at every fabric of your being. Tools that help aren’t just move, breathe, repeat. They are give yourself a moment because it is hard, then come back to the breath.
I’ve begun to make a list. On this list is classes and practices for specific circumstances and situations. Some of the things that people don’t ever want to talk about, are embarrassed about or feel great shame over. I want you to take a moment. What would that be for you? What would your being want and feel relief around if you saw that thing on the list? What would have you feel seen? What would give you hope?
Do you hate to shower? Does the sensory reality of hygiene such as brushing your teeth or water from a shower or bath create stress within your being?
Do you self harm? Cut?
Feeling embarrassment or shame over activities that include finances, sexual habits, internet histories, gender orientation, food, work, addiction
Struggling with fear? Fear of being too needy? Fear of rejection? Fear of change? Fear of appearing entitled?
Feeling lack of capacity for attachment? Feeling closed off? Or too open?
Empathic realities
Abuse or neglect history that inhabits access to your body
Inhabiting a body, taking a longer and meaningful breath, being in the present moment awake and aware aren’t easy tasks. There are many things along the spectrum, some that even seem like they should be inconsequential and yet they are the largest obstacles, that inhibit access and capacity. Allowing for space to grow relationship with your own body, being and breath is a huge gift you can give yourself. Tackling the ability to cultivate awareness, deepen sensory regulation and find calm are payoffs that will continue to grow and manifest in every aspect of living your life. Let me know what topic you would like to see in a class.
